In This Moment
by Kyandi Tsumi
Summary: What if Light and L met before? And they both did not remember? What will happen when, during the time Light is not Kira, he finds L's diary? Alternative Universe. LxLight *Summary changed to a better one* R
1. Prologue

Inspiration:Inspired by "In This Moment" by Since October

Summary: When Watari leaves a box full of belongings on L's bed, Light is curious. He opens it to reveal baby clothes. He also finds a diary? Who is its owner? LxLight Alternative Universe. Slightly canon. Shounen-ai.

Note: If you do not like shounen-ai, don't read. Please leave a review. Enjoy this tale.

* * *

**In this Moment: Prologue**

Secrets are lies.

That is one of the few truths that are proven in this world.

Light withheld many secrets, and was sure that L had secrets too.

He did not imagine that L's secrets were deeper than the ocean.

They were deeper than what he imagined.

He thought that all he was going to find in this little notebook were embarrassing teenage memories.

He laughed as he sat on his bed, ready to read it.

What happened, you may ask?

Previously, L had decided that he would take a bath. Naturally, he could not let his suspect go inside with him.

That would have been awkward for Light, who was still a teenager, and even though he was close to adulthood, he did not have the maturity yet to bath with another person.

He was mature in a lot of things; that was for sure.

Yet, he felt that people needed their own privacy.

Anyhow, he handcuffed Light to a bed pole and went inside the bathroom. Light, a little irritated, watched as the detective left with a towel to his bathroom.

For the time being, he decided he would keep thinking of more ideas to prove his innocence.

He was being, incorrectly according to Light, accused of being Kira.

"Ryuzaki, I brought what you requested." Watari announced as he entered the bedroom.

Light looked up from his lap and stared as Watari placed a brown carton box on L's unused bed.

"Light, do you wish to be released?" Watari inquired, taking out a key.

Light nodded.

"However, I shall lock you in the room." Watari added as he closed the door again. Light heard a locking sound, and then sounds of footsteps that gradually vanished.

Light rested on the bed, his head relaxing over the white pillow comfortably.

He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh.

He opened his eyes again.

It was very boring to be waiting for the detective. It seemed he was taking his sweet time.

Light sat up and looked around the room, taking in the details for the first time. It was a plain white room, with only two beds and a cabinet. The beds were close together, because of the chain that L insisted in having on even while they napped.

His gaze finally stopped on the box.

'_I wonder what that is…' _Light thought, and sat up on the bed, making the bed creak quietly at his sudden movement.

He mentally chided himself for being nosy. That was not something of his business, he decided.

Still…

Light stood up and grabbed the box, mentally cursing himself.

But then again, he was really bored.

He opened it, and his eyes widened slightly in mild surprise.

'_Clothes. But these are for toddlers! Why would L want this?_' Light smirked as an image of L in baby clothing appeared in his mind, and then shook his head.

'_I must be really bored._' He thought with certainty.

He allowed his hands to roam around the inside of the box. His hands eventually stopped on something that had a rectangular shape. Light raised an eyebrow.

"What is this…?" He muttered.

Now, here he was, holding a journal that said _'Diary' _in its cover.

To add on to his luck, it was in Japanese. He could read it. He could not help but smirk in satisfaction.

It was a blue notebook. It was dusty, showing it had been hidden, in that box perhaps, for a long time.

Light flipped open the first page and stared at it expectantly. His smile turned into a face of interest.

It was a handmade picture, of two people. Light could not tell who they were because it seemed to be drawn by the hand of a young child.

Light stared at it, almost in a daze. The sound of the water stopping from the nearby bathroom took him out of his trance.

L would be coming out and catching Light if he didn't hurry!

Light turned another page and started to read words that appeared to be written by the hand of a child.

Interesting.

* * *

_Entry Number One_

_R learned how to walk today. I had to teach him outside of school grounds of course._

_Nobody has discovered me yet, except for A, who promised to take care of R while I was gone._

_I am really grateful that A agreed to it. I thought he would tell B and then he would turn us in, as if I was a criminal and R was the brilliant and priceless jewel._

_It fits for R, but it does not fit me. I am no criminal. I have legal papers stating that he is my child._

_No one can take him away from me._

_I do hope that I turn eighteen soon._

_I think that there is still ten years that I have to wait. It is too long in my opinion._

_I have to do my homework. I guess I hesitated in writing for too long. Two hours for a small entry. Then again, I must say that this is the first time I write in this._

_L_

* * *

Light widened his eyes. L had written this when he was eight?

That must have been a long time.

And he had a kid?

Light narrowed his eyes. _'Who would have a kid at eight years old...?'_

Light stared at his lap, his eyes revealing his deep concentration.

_'A child... L is a father... Perhaps he had intercourse with a woman and she dropped the baby on L?'_

Light could not help but frown.

He picked up the notebook and looked for a place to hide it. He finally settled for his shirt. He would be able to feel it there every time he walked.

* * *

"Ryuzaki, do you have a wife? Or a girlfriend?" Light questioned L as he kept looking through the Yotsuba records. He heard the sipping sound coming from L stop.

After L had finished with his shower, the two young men went to the main room where everyone was working.

L surprised them with a day off, which most of them reacted by leaving. Light's father stayed to make sure his son would be fine, and Matsuda offered his services before he left.

Once he made sure Light would be okay, and once Matsuda brought cake and coffee, L and Light were left alone.

Light subconsciously clenched his teeth. _'Likely to be a yes now...'_

Light kept staring at the computer screen, afraid to glance at L.

"No, I do not." L replied, and went back to drinking his coffee.

"So you don't have any kids running around?" Light said, forcing his tone to take on one of concern and pity.

L placed his cup on the table and looked at Light, showing his attention.

"I used to." He said. For a brief moment, Light saw a spark of sadness in his eyes.

Light immediately felt guilty, then angry again.

_'He had a lover then!'_ He restrained from showing any emotion and faked a teasing smile.

"So it means you are not a virgin, right?"

L put his thumb on his lips thoughtfully.

"What is with those questions, Light-kun?"

"You did not answer my question." Light muttered.

"You did not answer mine as well."

"Answer mine first." Light snapped. L paused for a moment.

"I have not been with anyone, actually. I do wonder why you would want to know."

Light shrugged, furtively in a happier mood at L's response. "I thought it'd be interesting to know about you on a more… personal scale. We are friends after all."

"Of course." L replied curtly.

Light gave him a look of curiosity.

"So how did you get a kid then?"

L smiled. Light blinked, surprised. That smile was so genuine... Beautiful even.

_'Beautiful?_' Light thought, and rolled his eyes mentally. _'I must be out of my mind.'_

"I was his legal guardian when he was just a baby. We spent so much time together for some years before. ... And then.…"

L stopped abruptly and then turned his face to the computer. Light blinked, confused.

"Ryuzaki?"

"Go back to work, Light-kun." He said, his tone making it clear that the conversation was over.

Light returned to his laptop.

The two spent the rest of the afternoon working silently. His caramel eyes sometimes drift to where L was, and then they would look away quickly if they met L's, who was starting to question his suspect's actions.

"Light-kun has been staring." He accused in a mild tone afterwards. It was nighttime, and they were just taking a small break.

Light looked down at his dinner slightly embarrassed at the fact that he had been caught. Naturally, he never let that feeling linger for too long.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier." He responded, curiosity dissolving the shame.

"I suppose it is natural. I did not say much that would make sense. I do not talk much." L said after a few moments of silence. "I am not a person who engages in personal conversations. In fact, I am quite the opposite."

"Even so, Ryuzaki, do you remember what you said earlier? We are friends, remember?" Light pointed out.

"I do recall that. May I remind you that I revealed some things to you earlier? I am sure you would not go asking around whether a person is a virgin or not."

Light flushed, embarrassed again.

His shame quickly turned to anger as he saw L's smirk.

"What would you know? You are rarely outside!" Light yelled.

"That does not mean there are no other resources to finding out what is going on in the world."

Light seethed quietly. It sounded as if he was still laughing at him!

"Experiences are worth more than stories, Ryuzaki." Light muttered.

"So you say." L responded, still more concentrated on his 'dinner'.

"What happened to that child of yours anyway?"

A long tense silence ensued after that. Light could not see L's expression, for it was covered by the angle of his face and his bountiful hair.

Light scowled and turned his back to L by turning around the computer chair, feeling a mixture of anger and shame.

"... I do not remember..." Light heard L whisper in a sorrowful tone.

Light raised an eyebrow, puzzled. He turned back to facing L, who was still staring down at his cake.

"What do you mean, Ryuzaki?"

L looked up, and Light almost wanted to pull him into a hug.

L had his face twisted into a face that you would see in someone's face when they are in deep pain. Light marveled at the sudden release of emotions.

He truly felt like hugging the detective.

Light then fought his sudden urge and stared at L.

"I lost my memories. I do not remember three years of the time I took care of him."

Light felt pity fill him. "Why not?"

"That is what I wish I knew."

L turned back down to his cake, and started to eat once again, as if nothing had happened. His face was neutral once again.

Meanwhile, Light just stared at L, contemplating the situation.

_'So you had an adopted son... And he seems to be important. Why would you show so much emotion?'_

Light looked perplexed for a moment and then stared at L again.

Was he jealous?

Impossible.

In this moment, Light was doubting himself.

And he did not like it one bit.


	2. Close

Author's Note: Thank you for your kind reviews, Mary Lou and Thalia Extraordinaire! :) I am happy that you like it.

Mary Lou: Why, thank you. You'll find out soon in the diary entries. I still do not know whether to extend it to more than 20, or just show brief ones.

Thalia Extraordinaire: Thank you. I do try my best.

To everyone: I saw that many viewed my fic, so I know you are there. I shall be setting an update schedule soon, which will be announced in the next chapter.

* * *

**In This Moment: Close**

Light followed L into their room. L had called it a day after they had been working for fifteen minutes. It had been tense for the two, and L probably thought it was too much to cope up with.

Light watched as L walked over to his bed, and saw the box.

He stared at it with a thumb on his lips briefly and then opened it.

Light looked as L started to shake slightly with surprise.

He widened his eyes as he watched L push the box out of his bed, almost in anger.

L mumbled a "good night" and laid down on his bed.

Light nodded, still slightly shocked, and laid down on his bed. He turned around, the handcuffs moving slightly to face L's side. He was facing away from Light, his arms limply around himself.

'_He is hurting…' _Something said suddenly in Light's mind.

He glanced at L, and admitted silently that it was true.

"Ryuzaki?" Light asked in the middle of the darkness.

"Do not call me Ryuzaki." L said sharply.

Light blinked, shocked, and then scowled. "What is wrong with you? I wanted to know if you were okay."

Light resisted the urge to add 'jerk' at the last part. Or some other similar insult.

"I am." He said curtly. Light's eye twitched. He stood up and walked over to L's still form, which was under the covers.

"What is going on?" He muttered angrily, and snatched the covers from L. His angry face turned to a shocked one.

"Leave me alone." L muttered. "Have you not seen a human before?"

Light stared at L like an idiot. He was sulking. L was sulking.

That did not fit.

"Apparently not." L mused out loud.

Light glared at L, and threw the covers on him. "Bastard."

"What a sharp tongue." L muttered. Light clenched his hands into fists.

'_And I was getting all worried._' Light thought to himself angrily.

* * *

_Entry Number Two_

_Everything is going smoothly. It has been six months since I have written here. I just thought that I should update this, just in case R wants to see how I spent my days with him in his childhood. I took a picture of him, and hid it in my secret hiding place. _

_It was his first ever picture. He is a good boy, and he is learning how to play with toys that I have bought him. B knows now, and surprisingly, he cooed all over R. _

_I think he may gay or something._

_Or just a fanboy of babies._

_Then again, he laughs strangely. A tells me that he practices his laugh._

_R is trying to walk now. He already calls me Zaki. That was his first official name that he has said. Now I am waiting for his first true word. _

_So now, I go by Zaki or Z, if A and B want to make fun of me. Not that I mind. _

_R is like my little brother. I do not care if he calls me like that._

_Besides, "Zaki" is not that bad._

_R also is taking an interest in drawing. He likes to steal my pens that sometimes fall to the ground and draw all over the place. The director already suspects of me. _

_So every night, I clean up for him._

_R is like my teddy bear at nights. I hold him close, and I always sleep whenever I am sure that he will be safe. _

_A and B tell me I am becoming an insomniac. I wonder…_

_L_

* * *

Light turned the pages for a photo. His eyes only found various drawings.

The only picture that took his attention was one of L.

The picture was drawn only by pencil and black ink, but it looked so much like L that it was uncanny.

Light admired the soft and bold lines, showing the detail to every part of his face. L was smiling. It was shocking.

The smile was not those creepy ones that he did now.

It was a genuine smile, a beautiful smile that reflected happiness.

He was carefree, without a worry in the world.

His black hair was slightly brushed down, and the bags under his eyes seemed to be less defined than what Light had ever seen.

He had to admit, he was charmed by the picture.

The artist looked like she or he had done it with love or with some type of devotion. It was perfectly made.

Light felt his heart drop.

'_Even you have feelings too. I wonder who was the person who drew this…_' He turned to the entry that was close to the picture and read.

* * *

_Entry Number 57_

_Today is my birthday. I am officially 17 today. One more year till I grow into adulthood, and I take R from this nightmare. _

_R surprised me with a drawing of me. I had to admit, I was pleased by his gift. It was the best gift I had ever received._

_Even A's or B's did not compare to this drawing._

_He seemed happy too when I told him that I liked it. I always love to see him smile._

_Soon, our future will be free, with no restraints. He will live a better life than he has now._

_He will find a nice girlfriend once I tell him it is okay to date. _

_It will be amusing to see._

_I have done so many of these entries, and they always help me relax. I will probably keep this habit till I die._

_Number 546 time that I catch G and H looking at me with malice. I conjectured an idea of what they are planning. Nothing big._

_Perhaps I should just ignore them. I cannot let myself worry by petty things._

_L_

* * *

Light stayed seated in the bed, deeply thinking.

'_When is his birthday? It says October 31__st__…. Which is in two days?_' Light reclined more on his pillow.

"I can probably buy or make something." Light mused to himself. He looked over at L, who was miraculously sleeping. He silently made his way over to him and sat on his bed.

L was breathing peacefully. His expression was at ease. Light marveled at how different L looked at night, when he was silently sleeping.

It was a sight indeed.

His hand made a way to hover over L's lips unconsciously. He allowed his hand to then caress his pale cheek.

L stirred and Light quickly moved his hand from there and jumped back into bed.

He blinked, still half asleep and looked up at the ceiling. '_I must have stirred awake. I shall go back to rest. It is not morning yet._'

L rolled on his back and fell asleep once again.

Light could feel his heart beating fast.

'_That was close.'_

* * *

Note: I do hope that the characters are not too OOC. Please review, I enabled the anonymous feature.

What will happen in the next chapter? Will he question L again? Stay tuned!


	3. L's Birthday

Note: I am proud of this chapter, since it is my first romance fic.

Thank you Thalia Extraordinaire, and ciamajda for reviewing! :)

And thank you for those who put this story in their alerts and favourites.

* * *

** In this Moment; L's Birthday**

Light could tell that L was deliberately avoiding everyone.

Others did not notice as much as Light did.

Light noticed that whenever someone called him "Ryuzaki", he always looked away, mostly to the screen or the keyboard.

For instance, when they were in the main room, Aiber approached L, and questioned, "Is Light cleared of his suspicions, Ryuzaki?"

Light watched as L quickly went from staring at Aiber to turning his face to the computer screen.

The rest of the team acknowledge it as L making a decision to work while listening to Aiber.

But Light knew better.

"No, Aiber-san, he is not cleared of suspicions yet."

Aiber's face briefly displayed a stern scowl, then a charming smile.

"I understand, Ryuzaki, I shall wait until Light is proven innocent!"

"Yes." L muttered.

He also noticed that he never stayed in a room with anyone other than Light of course.

But he had a feeling that L would avoid him too if he had the chance.

Anyhow, Light finally had managed to ask his father a favor without L knowing.

He was also able to get Watari into this. Surprisingly, the elder did not tell L of what Light was planning, which he was grateful for.

He also continued reading the diary. He was amused at what L had done in his childhood.

He was also disturbed too. There were some ugly memories that L chose to write, and Light wondered whether the person who wrote the diary was in reality L.

It looked like they could be two different people.

The L in the diary was open, and more emotional. He still had his dry speech, but it still held some type of cheeriness to it when it was a good entry.

Some were dark. Light did not like Entry Number 13 at all.

* * *

_Entry Number Thirteen_

_Today was possibly the worst day of my life. I was thrown into the streets by some students again. Normally, this would not bother me. I could always find my way back to the school._  
_Yet, I was almost killed. I encountered a strange man, who seemed to be pulling something._

_It did not take me long to realize that it was a dead body he was pulling. I accidentally made noise when I started to retreat._

_The man pursued me once I tried to run away. I do not recall most of the details except for the fear I felt._

_I could hear him cursing, and then the word "gun"._

_I immediately panicked, but I managed to keep running, even though I was stunned._

_I got out of it once I climbed over a fence. Unfortunately, he got my arm._

_A was kind enough to help me wrap my bleeding arm into bandages. I made him promise to not tell anyone._

_Still, it may have been stupid. My arm is causing me deep pain._

_I am just glad that my luck lasted today._

_I don't think I would have forgiven myself to leave R alone._

_L_

He glanced at L, who was working diligently. They were close, they both knew.

The Yotsuba corporation was more likely to be hiding Kira in their group.

He stared at his arm in search for an awkward moment.

None.

Light mentally slapped himself. Of course he was not going to find any of that. It had clearly been years ago.

"Ryuzaki, have you ever been a victim of a criminal?" Light asked. L glanced at him.

"You are certainly curious this week." L commented.

Light rolled his eyes.

"I have been. But it's natural."

"Yes, indeed it is." L mumbled in agreement.

It was obvious that L did not want to engage in a conversation.

Light was not discouraged though.

"I was wondering that because there must be a reason why you became a detective."

"I was bored."

Light stared at L in mild surprise. 'Where did I hear that from before?' He wondered.

"I thought it would be something else." Light muttered. He clicked on the mouse to open a new window, murmuring, "Liar."

L's ear caught that last word. "I am. Is it not hypocritical of Light-kun to accuse me of something he is as well?"

Light narrowed his eyes. The Kira subject would always come up in some type of way.

"Lies and secrets are different." He responded vaguely.

"Secrets are lies." L contradicted.

"But lies aren't secrets." Light remarked.

"Indeed." L said curtly. Light looked at L slightly irritated.

"I will not ask any more questions." He declared. L continued working, indicating he could care less.

Light glared at L and kept working.

There was no need to pursue a half dead conversation.

He opened the diary, which was disguised as a Sherlock Holmes book, and started to read.

* * *

_Entry Number 24_

_I realized today that I have a nervous habit of jumping whenever a baby rattle falls to the ground._

_A and B spent their time today making me jump. In the library, in the cafeteria, in the music room, everywhere._

_I am officially annoyed._

_In the bright side, R is taking an initiative to walk by himself._

_Days are fun, even if I have to hide him, or get pranked._

_Not bad at all._

_L_

* * *

Light smirked. Oh yes.

"Dad, can you come here for a minute?"

L turned his face slightly in curiosity and quickly turned it back to the screen when he met Light's red honey eyes.

Aiber approached Light. "Yes?"

"Could you get a rattle?" He whispered.

Sweatdrops appeared on Aiber's face.

"Why?"

Light smirked. "I am going to rattle someone's cage."

Aiber nodded, smiling. Light winked and turned to L.

Light touched L on his shoulder, smiling innocently.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

L nodded and released Light from his handcuffs.

"If you try to escape, you will be sentenced as Kira, and be killed. If you mess with any room, I will get you back into that prison cell without any hope of ever getting out. If you-"

"I got the message, Ryuzaki." Light said annoyed. He watched as L looked away.

Light narrowed his eyes for a short moment, and then smiled.

"I will be right back."

L kept staring at the bright screen.

'_I can't believe it._' Light thought and got inside the bathroom.

He washed his face with warm water, his mind thinking quickly.

'_Tomorrow. I will show Ryuzaki that I am better than R.'_ He thought and then slapped himself.

"What?" He said loudly.

'I am not jealous! I do not like Ryuzaki in any way to be jealous.'

He sighed and closed his eyes, imagining all the moments that he spent with the detective.

When he was ignored for a cake, and then L looked at him with his dark and wise eyes, saying in that beautiful voice, "I am sorry, Light-kun. What were you saying?"

Light's eye twitched in self-annoyance.

'I do not like Ryuzaki. I do not like him at all.'

"Light-kun? Are you done in there?"

Light almost fell over but quickly gained composure.

"Almost done, Ryuzaki." Light responded.

"Yes." L said from the other side of the door.

Light opened the door and faced L. His face was so close to his own.

"Can Light-kun move?"

Light stared at the way that L's lips moved when he talked and smiled.

'_Maybe I do like Ryuzaki...'_

Light widened his eyes, and his heart started beating at a quick pace.

_'Impossible! What is going on with me?'_

L stared at Light. His expression went to one of happiness to one of horror before L's eyes.

"Light-kun?" L asked. Loud chimes were heard then. Light and L looked toward the clock.

Midnight.

"Ryuzaki." Light murmured, getting L's attention.

"Don't call me that." L said.

Light ignored him. "Ryuzaki, you should be careful with what you get with the wind of the air."

"What do you mean? I am not quite following your train of thought."

"I mean this." Light wrapped his arms around L's waist and hugged him tightly.

L widened his eyes in surprise.

"Light-kun, re-"

"Happy Birthday, Ryuzaki." Light whispered.

L blinked.

"I did not get a birthday gift, but I did get my dad to get me cake. We just have to wait."

"Thank you, Light."

Light felt his heart beat even faster. "This is the first time that you have called me just Light with out the honorific." He remarked.

"This is the first time in a long time I have ever received a hug."

"I will make sure you won't wait long for the next one."

L looked to the side, embarrassed. He felt his heart pick up pace.

_'It seems that my heart is quickly beating. But why...?'_ L thought.

Light removed himself from L and smiled.

"I think you have to go to the bathroom."

L widened his eyes and mentally chastised himself while entering the bathroom and closing the door.

Light smirked. 'You do like my hugs.'

* * *

"Can I take that?" Light asked. Watari nodded.

"Be careful with it, Light-kun." Watari said, and placed the cake on Light's arms.

Light nodded and took the cake to the main room. The team members admired the size of it.

"What is that?" Aizawa exclaimed.

Light rolled his eyes. "Cake. L, where do you want me to place it?"

L turned from his seat and looked at Light in surprise.

He was carrying a big strawberry cake.

"You may place it on one of the coffee tables."

Light nodded and placed it in front of L.

The rest watched Light with wide eyes.

"Did he just call him 'L'?"

"Yes, but Ryuzaki didn't say anything against it!"

Light took out a knife expertly and cut a slice, then placed it in front of L.

"Happy Birthday. You can make a wish right now, I will distract them." Light whispered so only L heard and placed an already lit candle on top of the slice.

L looked down at the cake.

"Go back to work." Light demanded, hiding the cake with the candle with his body.

The rest nodded and reluctantly and went back to their screen.  
When Light turned back to L, the candle was already blown.

"What did you wish for?" Light asked, smiling.

L looked up at Light.

"That you were not Kira."

Light looked down. "You still suspect me then."

"I cannot help but not trust-"

"You can trust me!" Light yelled, putting his hands on each of L's shoulders. "I lov-"

"Light." L interrupted.

The rest watched the two silently.

"What?" Light snapped.

"I am sorry."

Light's gaze softened. "Go back to eating cake, L."

He removed his hands from L and sat back in his seat.  
He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want a piece?" L offered.

Light looked at L, realizing that he was sorry.

He gave him one of his best smiles and said, "Thank you, L."  
L smiled a little and gave Light a slice.

"Can we have some?" Matsuda asked. The rest of the task force looked at Matsuda in disbelief.

"Yes, you can." L replied.

Matsuda grinned.

L then jumped, surprising everyone.

"Yagami-kun!" L said, annoyance for once showing in his features.

Light smirked, and picked up the rattle.

"Who wants to play a game?" Light inquired and L glared at him.

"Yagami-kun!"


End file.
